This Mom-versation is with someone I’ve know most of my life, my one and only sister Rocquel “Rocky” Clark-Bedford. She is an amazing single mom raising a beautiful daughter. My sister is so gifted and talented. Everything she touches prospers. She is a licensed cosmetologist that specializes in regrowing damaged hair, a hair care educator and recruiter for Great Clips. Although I am the older sister, there is so much I admire about her. Here are a few highlights from our conversation.
Challenges as a single mom
"Having kids is an inconvenience"
Rocquel described the biggest challenge as a single mom is being able to balance time and finances. As a busy working mom “I don’t have the flexibility to put things aside and go give her all of my attention” she says. With only one person bringing in an income, she has to work to make sure her daughter is taken care of. Rocky goes on to explain how, “you have to be everything for your child because there is only you.” With the support of her tight knit village and thoughtful planning, Rocky has learned how to organize their life in a way that helps things to run smoothly.
Rocky’s Quick Tips on Planning and Organization
“Planning takes a lot of effort, but once you are living out your plan it runs so smoothly”
Write everything down. Even the smallest things
Have an organized calendar: Color coordinated. Google calendar is her favorite.
Saving: plan a year ahead for big trips. Use pieces of your income to save in advance.
Budgeting: Budgeting will help you clean up debt and have a plan for your money
Operation: On Sunday, make a plan for the whole week. Pick out all your outfits for the week so that is one less thing you have to worry about.
Meal prep: choose one meat for the week and make meal variations using that meat. Purchase a meal subscription like Every Plate or Hello Fresh. You won’t have to grocery shop for dinner and your meals will already be chosen.
How has God helped you parent your daughter uniquely?
"You're the mother. You set the tone."
My sister and my nice have very different personalities. Rocky described herself as more serious and her daughter as colorful. “I had to adjust to my child’s personality. My daughter would get up singing early in the morning.” Rocky would get aggravated because she is not a morning person. One day the Holy Spirit reminded her “YOU’RE the mother, YOU set the tone for the day”. She started to get up early to have some “me time” before her daughter woke up. She used that time to have a cup of coffee, pray, read a devotional, or just lay there. When her daughter gets up, mommy is in a better mood and ready for all the early morning singing.
“My daughter saved my life."
As we are discussing Imani, Rocquel begins to share a snippet of her testimony.
“My daughter saved my life. She didn’t allow me to roll over and die” she says joyfully. With tears in her eyes she tells the story of how God used her daughter to bring her out of a dark time in her life. She says “I’m a divorced black woman with a child. I’m suppose to be a statistic but I’m not”. During this time she learned how to trust God and become more disciplined. “Every time I turn myself over to God he gave us exactly what we needed”.
My sister is one of the most solid people I know...hence the nickname Rocky. She is genuine, about her business and has a heart of gold. I absolutely love they way she pours into her daughter and allows her colors to shine brightly. I am so encouraged by her life and I hope you are too.
Links to products and resources discussed
Hello Fresh: click the link to get $20 your first meal
Aromatherapy Shower Steamers: Amazon affiliate Use during your next shower for a little self-care