Part one of the Mom-versation I had with Ericka Webb was only an appetizer. The meat of our conversation is in part two. I must say, I laughed so hard in the second half of our chat. We dive deeper into homeschooling, parenting and discipline.We have been girlfriends for a long time, so we can literally talk for hours about anything. This time we just pressed record and decided to share with world.
Being the "Influencer"
"What if this was the only time that you will be the main influence in your children's lives? What would you impart?"
At the beginning of the pandemic, Ericka asked a group of parents "What if this was the only time that you will be the main influence in your children's lives? What would you impart?" That question really stuck with me. It made be be more prayerful and heightened my awareness to my children's needs, development, behavior, interests etc. Ericka shares what God has shown her about each of her children during the pandemic. It was so encouraging to hear how God gives personalized insight and wisdom for each of her children.
Having "The Talk"
Every parent of color knows that some day they will have to have "The Talk" with their kids, especially their boys. This is unfortunate, but a necessary conversation we must have with love and wisdom. And to be honest, I pray for God's grace in this area because I dread that day. I asked Ericka to share her experience since her boys are older than mine. I thought her approach to "The Talk", was very clever. She doesn't wait for an event to happen in our community prompt a conversation. Instead, she builds a foundation of black history education in all subjects. By highlighting the brilliance of black and brown people continually, it contends with the false narratives in the media and our culture. Ericka says "Dealing with education in that way make it easy to flow into conversations about "The Talk". The Myth of Race is one of the books Ericka is reading to her kids now that discusses how race has started.
"Feel, Think (at a high level), React/Respond"
There are situations that happen as a parent that will push buttons that you didn't know you even had. It take all the constraint that you can muster to not overreact in the moment. As a parent, we have to filter through embarrassment, anger, exhaustion, shame, impatience, and gamut of emotions to give the appropriate level of discipline required for that moment. Whew! That's a huge responsibility. Not only do we want to stop a behavior, but the responsibility to connect emotionally and effectively teach new behaviors for each individual kid.
I loved listening to Ericka's take on this subject. She explained the "feel, think, react" method. When our kids try us, it is easy to feel the hit of that emotion and quickly react and think later...maybe. But Ericka shares how to pause and feel the emotion. Then, think with high intensity about why you feel that way and ask God how to respond. This is the key to Holy Spirit led discipline.
I appreciate my dear sister for sharing her stories and testimonies on how God is helping her groom her arrows to be released into the world.
Ericka Webb’s handles
Facebook: @Ae Webb